Snakes and Snails and Puppy Love Tales

My nephew, Travis, is an awesome little dude and, at 6 years old, already has a girl friend. Not bad for a first grader, yeah?  When quizzed on the subject, though- like a budding politician- while he doesn't deny it, he's not ready to confirm it either; at least around the other little boys. He's afraid they might tease him.

 

So what does his doofus Uncle do? Writes about it in his blog.

 

But somehow I think his secret's safe. At least in this forum. Not many people read this stuff those that do are surely not 6 years old.

 

However from where I’m sitting- and writing- I’d say you’re way ahead of the game, Travis. It takes most people well past first grade before even speaking to the opposite sex; somewhat longer to concede they don’t have cooties. Shoot, let's see... I waited till all of 7 and a half before dipping my big toe into the wading pool of love for the first time. So, nice going, you’re doing good. And about the potential teasing? Forget about it. Those kids are just insanely jealous or terribly insecure in their 'manhood'. 

 

But let me tell you about my first little friend and first little kiss. Maybe it'll put your mind at ease about all this mushy stuff you might be feeling. If nothing else, you'll have something to tease me about when you get older.

I had a fierce crush on Mary Tait all through childhood, but never told her; couldn’t even imagine ever actually saying the words. Her house was right across the street from ours and many days while trying not very hard to appear as if I was doing something else, I‘d longingly gaze out our kitchen window, watching and hoping to see Mary to come outside. And when she did, with nervous excitement gnawing at me- and just by “coincidence”- I’d go outside too.

Mary always spotted me- probably because I wanted her to- and always asked if I wanted to play. And lousy at being coy (well, I guess so, if you really want to, yeah sure, okay) we did. Often for hours. And whenever we'd play Hide-N-Seek with the rest of the kids on the block, if I wasn't it I made it my goal to try and hide with Mary, just so I could be close to her. It gave me the ‘tinglies’ all over, especially playing at night. But sometimes she'd run off before I knew where she was going and I'd have to hide alone or with somebody else, which left me kicking at the dirt in frustration.

But that's how it was with Mary-always just out of my reach. She was a year older, so were never in the same class at school and though we got out at the same time in grade school, she walked home with her friends, I walked home with mine. Then when we were finally at San Juan High at the same time, though she was just a sophomore and I was a freshman, by then we might as well have been decades apart. I never stood a chance and it nearly broke my heart the first time I heard she was dating someone.  To this day, though, Mary's always been the beautiful “older woman" that got away. So here's your first bit of advice Travis. If you like a girl, don't be afraid to speak up.

However, during all those growing up years I also liked Nancy Haglund. If Mary was the unattainable heartthrob, Nancy was the always faithful friend. Though two years younger than me, she was like one of the guys- only cuter. But kind of a tom-boy, too. I liked that. She could play baseball and football almost as good as any of the guys and didn’t mind getting dirty or knocked around, though she was good at knocking back, too. So we grew to be like buddies. Good buddies. And, as happens when boys and girls mix, sometimes kissing buddies; in fact, Nancy was the first girl I ever kissed. But Travis, if you ever get around to taking that step here's your second piece of unsolicited advice: don't do it the way I did it.  

The first time I kissed Nancy was right on the mouth and right in broad daylight. It was also right in front of a bunch of other kids, who found the entire episode highly amusing. They laughed even harder when Nancy ran away in embarrassment.

A fool for love was I; more like at fool at love.

And to compound matters, I was so upset they'd teased me, when I told Mom about it she sent me to my room and said if I ever did something like that again I’d be in real trouble. ”Good little boys don’t go around kissing little girls”, she said.  Since when? Last I checked little boys, good and bad, have been kissing little girls forever. But at seven and a half, pushing 8, I wasn't worldly enough to push back and question whether Mom's assumption was fallacy or fact. So after a light smack on the noggin, I went to my room and buried my head in my pillows, knowing I’d never be able to go outside and face anyone- especially Nancy- again.  

She forgave me, though, and in fact let me kiss her again at other times over the course of our childhood. But thoroughly disgraced and chastised after the first one, I kept all further kiss and tell tales to myself. I certainly never again confided in Mom.

 

So to wrap things up, here's the last bit of unasked for advice, Travis. First, it’s okay to talk about this stuff with your Mom. I'm quite convinced she's not nearly as 'Victorian' as mine was. Never be afraid to give your heart away; the rewards far outweigh the risks. But remember this- your first tender expression of affection for a girl, your first kiss is awkward enough. So whenever you get around to doing it, I beg you; DON'T do it with an audience. Please. Especially if the audience is a gaggle of giggling 7-9 year old boys.

Trust me; you will get teased, then.